Why Doctor Who is Like Your Cool Bachelor Uncle

A few weeks ago, I was attempting to describe Doctor Who to a non-Whovian friend. Now, mind you, I'm still a little green in the Whoniverse, as I've only been a fan for under a year, but I can safely say the show has wormholed its way into my heart(s). Anyway, I sort of explained to her how the Doctor is almost like a father to humanity-- he's wise, tries to nudge them in the right direction, but ultimately lets them decide their fate.

But for some reason, that analogy just wasn't working for me. He's not fatherly by any other means, and while 12 may look the part of a wise elder, he's certainly the farthest from a Daddy type. This got me thinking-- the Doctor is older and wiser than we are, but he's much sillier. He's much more adventurous and much more savvy and street-wise.

When I was a kid, I had a physicist uncle who taught us science by lighting things on fire and smashing stuff. He'd take us to his lab, where we'd stick hot-dogs or carnations in liquid nitrogen and then watch them fly into a million pieces when we banged them on the counter-tops. When he babysat, he'd show us that our potpourri aerosol made a fantastic ad hoc flamethrower.

I feel that the Doctor is very much like your cool uncle. Everyone has at least one-- that guy that, when he babysits, can't do anything practical like make you dinner, (cough-fish-fingers-and-custard-cough) but he'll keep you up all night laughing, drinking sugary beverages, and showing you things you've never dreamed of, like rated PG-13 comedies or the aforementioned flame thrower.

The Doctor doesn't stay with humanity, and much like your bachelor uncle, never remains long enough. He's off to discover, to meet new people, and to get in a whole lot of trouble that your parents are likely to grumble quietly about. But you look forward to his magical, fleeting visits, and smile secretly to yourself when he tells you a grownup joke.

I think this is part of why I love this series so much-- it's almost like a guilty indulgence. I get to take an hour of my time and just have a whimsical private laugh with a kooky character who manages to make me think deeply as well as smile broadly.

Thanks, Uncle Doctor.

Tasting the Past

November 6, 2014--

For many, the taste-buds are the gateway to memory. One bite of a favorite dish can send me back in time, and I've always loved the nostalgia attached to well-remembered meals. This is what drove me to write GASTROPHYSICS, my novel about a time-traveling food critic. To celebrate finishing the final (read: sixth? seventh?) draft of this long-awaited accomplishment, my husband and I treated ourselves to the literal flavors of the past.

When one of my critique partners mentioned there was a Boston restaurant that served medieval and Renaissance dishes, I jumped out of my seat. I'd just finished researching centuries of food preparation for Gastro, and the thought of tasting some of these recipes executed at a high-end restaurant sounded too good to be true. I had to find out for myself, so my husband and I booked a table at Boston's new Seaport restaurant, M. C. Spiedo.

(I will not go into detail about what my husband thought of the restaurant's name, but let's just say he pictured a DJ in questionable swimwear.)

M. C. Spiedo is owned by Clark Frasier and Mark Gaier, who own one of my favorite restaurants on the planet, Ogunquit Maine's legendary Arrows. So, Mister Speedo-- ahem, M. C. Spiedo-- already has some points on the board in my book.

When we arrived, we noticed the restaurant's upscale modern decor with hints of baroque-- some tapestry-like prints here, velvet booths there-- and although it didn't give the real appearance of a historical restaurant, part of me was glad. I wasn't looking for King Richard's Faire, here, I was looking for kingly fare. 

And I wasn't disappointed.

The meal started off with a snack cart that came by, boasting small plates of historical origin. There was poached pear wrapped in prosciutto, a pate made of walnuts, spiced ham and orange salad, and a dish akin to deviled eggs. I'm always on the prowl for good pig, so I took the pear and prosciutto dish. The pear was firm and the prosciutto tore apart like tissue paper. It was heavenly.

For an appetizer, all I needed to see was one word and I ordered it. In the Medieval feast scene in Gastrophysics, my protagonist Alfredo is wowed by a meal served on a trencher. I'm one to sop anything up in some good bread, so when I saw this meat and cheese trencher on the menu, I nearly hugged the server with glee as I ordered. When it came out, I was slightly disappointed that it wasn't served with bread as a plate, but the cured and smoked meats were diverse, unique and heavenly. And then there were the cheeses.

Don't even get me started on the cheeses. 

Let's just say it took a lot of self restraint not to stab my husband for the last piece of Parmigiano. And yes, of course there was bread with it, but like Nicholas Cage, it was gone in sixty seconds.

At this point in the feeding frenzy, I couldn't help but gush when the waiter came over. I told him how excited I was to be eating at a historically-based restaurant and I sort of pitched him my book. Sorry, Jessica, I know that's your job. Anyway, he began telling me the story of how they put the menu together, and even had the chef come out to the table to help us navigate the menu for our main courses! Chef Michael Sutton came over and discussed the most historically-accurate dishes they served. We talked at length about some of the most famous old cookbooks-- the Medici family's, in particular, where the M. C. Spiedo team got their "torta" recipe.

Now, I'm going to stop for a minute and give you a minute to think about what's in the torta, because I wasn't prepared for it and I sort of made a scene and there may have been some Muppet-flailing. The torta is a pie baked with Bolognese sauce, meatballs and tortellini.

I'm sorry, WHAT?!

The sort of pies I was used to researching were pasties and meat pies with ale, not ones WITH MEATBALLS. The chef explained that this was an Italian Renaissance dish, an era I did not cover for this book. I began to feel a sequel coming on when he described this recipe. I had to have it, or, rather, my husband did and I leaned over the table and did a face-plant into it. 

For my dish, I had to order something that Alfredo would have eaten.

One of the things that so entranced me about the Medieval feast dishes was the fact that the sauces were so thick, they were the consistency of hummus. This was because it would stay on the bread trencher and not make a mess. How interesting! Plus, they were nut-based, a delicacy I can't sample at home because of my itchy children. I threw my epi-pen to the wind, however, and ordered the spit-roasted chicken in an almond and dried-fruit sauce. This was something akin to what Alfredo ate during the feast, so I had to try it. It was just how I had imagined! Yay for authenticity on both parts! The sauce was thick and rich from the almonds, had a zip of traditional spices such as cinnamon and clove, and the dried fruit really added a nice sweetness. The chicken fell off the bone, too. Next time you see the word "spit" in a dish's description, don't cringe.

Because the people at this restaurant are so cool, Chef Sutton sent over two particularly historic dishes that we didn't even order! A "green cauliflower" dish that was fire roasted and covered in pesto, and the Leonardo Da Vinci salad...a recipe that came straight from the genius himself's note-pad! I couldn't get over the hospitality and atmosphere. 

All good things must come to an end, however, and the hubs and I finished our meal with some historically-inspired cocktails. While I thought mead might be more appropriate for my dish, my 14th century barrel-aged Manhattan was impressive to say the least.

As we finished our meal, I realized that this truly was the perfect place to celebrate finishing the long-awaited final draft of my "Anthony Bourdain meets Doctor Who" manuscript. The food itself was high-end and lovingly prepared, but the recipes sent me back in time. This was a food version of what I wanted my readers to experience! Sumptuous but with sustenance. A feast for both the mouth and the mind.

Bon appetit, friends.

A Geek Finds Who

March 27, 2014 --

Ok, there's been a blind spot in my geek radar for years-- Doctor Who. I've been a Lord of the Rings fan since I was five when my physicist uncle read it to me. I was weaned on Star Trek because of my dad, who outwardly was never a nerd but inside he was a space geek through and through. I've been a gamer since computer screens depicted only two colors. All this, and yet I've never watched Doctor Who?

Well, I've finally decided that enough is enough. Many of my compatriots banter the terms "TARDIS" and "Dalek" about and I'd smile and nod, but inside I'd feel like a noob. What was the hype about?

I soon found out. And while I'm only about thirteen episodes deep, I think I'm a fan. Here are my thoughts about the first season I've watched, which was the start of the re-booted series in 2005.

For the first three episodes, I was wary. There were farting aliens, weird mannequins and over-all I felt it was cheesy. Then I thought back to the early episodes of Buffy and decided to give the show a waiver. If Buffy could become my all-time favorite show and have a rough year or two, then this could definitely get under my skin.

And by the time I got to to The Empty Child, I was hooked. What a creepy, atmospheric and overall wonderful episode! I'd come to love the ninth Doctor and his kooky grin. His companion Rose was brave, smart and very human. I liked their interactions and I looked forward to seeing more of their chemistry together.

When suddenly Eccleston was replaced with Tennant, my first instinct was to shout "Nooooo" at the sky. I'd just completely fallen for this character, and now he was going to be replaced? Already? We'd just gotten to know each other. It was unfair.

After watching the first episode with the tenth Doctor, I'd warmed up to him a tad. I was familiar with Tennant from his performance as Hamlet, so that gave him a buy. I haven't watched any more of that season yet but I suspect he'll be just as whimsically charismatic as his predecessor.

All in all, I'm hooked and proud to be among the ranks of Whovians everywhere.

November 6, addendum-- HOW COULD I HAVE EVER DOUBTED THIS SHOW?! FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD FOR EVERYONE AND FEZZES ARE COOL!!!!!!

On Spoilers, Social Media, and the Demise of the Denouement

March 17, 2014--

So, last night when I went to bed an hour early, I didn't really think there would be any ramifications other than feeling more rested than usual. I opted for Cosmos before bed (space dreams!) instead of The Walking Dead (Survival/horror nightmares!) and this choice actually had an effect on my life.

This morning, when I began to review the usual feeds-- facebook, Twitter, etc-- I was stunned by the amount of OH MY GOD #THEWALKINGDEAD I saw. There were sad faces, the term "gross" came up a lot, and it was overall pretty negative stuff.

Then I got hit with anxiety.

Now, this makes me sound like I have no life. I became anxious, actually, because I watch the show with my husband, and he's away all week so we need to wait until next Tuesday to watch both last week's and this week's episodes. Still, no reason for alarm. Just tarry on and it doesn't matter.

But, to be perfectly honest, I want to stay away from social media.

I don't want spoilers.

What has happened to TV watchers since the social media revolution? It's more than just a water cooler mindset; watching TV has become a group experience in ways that were much more immediate than just a few years ago.

Back when Battlestar Galactica was ending, a co-worker of mine created a "Final Five" chart that we kept on the wall in our office, joking weekly and updating our picks. It was fun. It was a great way to come back to work after a weekend. I feel like that would be the extent of my "social" side of entertainment consumption.

Now, if you don't watch a show when it's on, chances are you're screwed. I've had Downton Abbey spoiled for me so many times that I don't even watch it anymore. If anyone would have spoiled L O S T for me I would have choked a bitch.

But is all this necessary? It's silly that I want to avoid the internet for a week, but have we become so addicted to plot twists and turns that if things like this don't happen, we get upset? Take True Detective, for example, something I'd call one of the best shows I've ever seen. Last week's finale drew ire because it didn't have any kind of reveal about the Yellow King or Cthulu or Marty's daughter Audrey. People were disappointed by denouement.

The series was 8 episodes long. Now, are we demanding plot twists in the final 8th of a book? Or the final scenes in a movie? No, it's where things wrap up. Denouement is ok. So why are we accepting of it with literature but not with television?

Personally, I think it's the "discussion" factor. I think we need to talk about it, and talk about it immediately.  And slap a hashtag on it.

When a Good Premise Goes Bad: American Horror Story Coven

January 30, 2014--

The Seven Wonders, last night's season finale of American Horror Story: Coven, was problematic and perplexing. The plot holes were the size of New England winter potholes, the motivation was worse than when I try to get up early on the weekend, but that's really just scratching the surface of what went wrong this season. And last season.

First off, it wasn't a horror story. Misnomer. The first season was full-on terrifying, season two (while not nearly as good as season one) was creepy and atmospheric, but Coven was gory but lacked the emotion that would make the audience afraid. And the main reason it wasn't scary: there were no stakes.

You could die, then come back. You could gouge your eyes out, then get them back. You could die again and come back again. You could gouge your eyes out A SECOND TIME and get them back. (Fellow Whedonites: I know Buffy dies and comes back twice. This is ok because it's Whedon.)

Secondly was the lack of an engaging protagonist. First we meet Zoe, who...can kill you with intercourse? Ok. I'm quaking in my boots. Then there's what should be the ace-in-the-hole, Jessica Lange's Fiona, but she's just a sort-of-evil-but-nicely-dressed non-entity. We gain some compassion for her, and then it's dashed, and then we get more, and it gets smashed again. Kind of like the resurrection and eye-gouging stuff. Are we supposed to like her? Hate her? I don't even think the writers know. The cast of other witches had potential to be interesting and cool, but most of them also vacillated between being likable and deplorable, except for Nan. Who should have been the Supreme.

And...can we talk about the big "stakes" here? Becoming Supreme is supposed to be amazeballs, right? You are the head witch in the world, and you have "everything" at your disposal. Ok, so why did Fiona only have that one black dress and why did she just mope about New Orleans drinking? Show us why being Supreme is enough for girls to kill each other over! Also, guess what, you'll be reigning Supreme over...four misfit girls. Great. I did like, at the end, (much in a Buffy fashion, erm) there were tons of witches that joined up, but come on. Most of the season was like "Yay, I'm going to be queen of this handful of awful people!"

But there were some potentially awesome characters who were squandered. You had Kathy Motherfuckin Bates and all you did was have her spit racist comments and get dismembered (several times...hmm, this seems to be a theme). She starts to grow on people, then does something reprehensible again. See a pattern? Then there was Marie Laveaux. Can you say badass voodoo queen? She was the highlight of the show, for a while, then  they killed her with Benedryl and a spill down the stairs. Or something. I barely remember because at this point I just watched the train wreck. How do you screw this up?

It had so much potential. Such a great city. Such fantastic talent. But what they did was, yet again, throw too many balls in the air. There was a rival bunch of witches. AWESOME. There was racial tension. COMPELLING. There were top-notch actors and actresses involved. BOOM. And then let's add unnecessary villains, the Axe Man and the Witch Hunters. UM... And then let's have an unbalanced love triangle. WELL... Now let's throw in a weird council. YOU GUYS... And Stevie Nicks. DUDE!

Enough.

Now, next season once again has potential. It's set at a carnival in the 1950's and Jessica Lange sports a German accent. To me, that sounds like a recipe for a creep-tastic season. Please, writers, take it down a notch. And make it scary, not gross or shocking. Take some cues from season one and give the audience what they want.

And by that I mean Dylan McDermott.

My Memories of Light

January 5, 2013--

I'm making mental preparations for what is going to happen this week.

I am going to be seeing some of my friends for the last time.  Friends I have loved for eighteen years, which (doing some quick math, here) is more than half of my life.

On January 8, A Memory of Light by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson hits the shelves.  I, however, am going to hit the floor in an insensible heap.  The Wheel of Time will be over.

I know I am going to love the book.  Folks, it's the Last Battle, finally.  Our hero will have his moment.  Hell, all our heroes in that series are going to have their moments.  I'm not worried about how Sanderson will complete Jordan's work.

I'm worried about saying goodbye.

I have literally grown up with these characters.  I met them on a balmy summer night when I was fifteen, ironically the same night I met my first ever boyfriend.  While that teenage love didn't last, my relationships with Rand, Perrin, Matt, Nynaeve and Egwene, however, are bonds that never broke.  I once joked that the series was taking so long, I'd be married with children by the time it was over.

Um.  *crickets*  Married with two kids, here.

True, characters never really leave you.  Their stories stay in your mind and give you beautiful memories and daydreams for years to come.  But in many ways, this is the end of something major in my life.  I don't remember what my fantasies were like before the Wheel of Time.  The series helped shape me in so many ways.  I drew strength from Nynaeve's young wisdom when people told me I was too mature for my age.  I channeled Mat Cauthon every time I tested my luck, and most times I won.  And whenever anyone told me my dreams were too big, I just thought about Egwene, the youngest Amyrlin Seat in history.

But in the most profound way, it was Robert Jordan himself who changed my life.  He showed me how deeply and profoundly a good book can affect you.  He made me want to be a writer.  Now, eighteen years later, I've made that dream come true.  I've written a book that landed me my dream agent, and publishing success is just around the corner.  This was because of Mr. Jordan, first and foremost.  I recall the two times I met him and smile on those memories.  He was so kind to me, and really took a moment when he signed my books to get to know the person whose name he was scrawling.  I showed him the picture that is now my avatar-- cutting my wedding cake with a Heron Mark sword.  He laughed and looked me in the eye.  "You're a badass," he had said. 

Robert Jordan called me a badass.

So of course I had the courage to write a novel of my own.  I crafted my own worlds and characters that became stitched into the fabric of my soul alongside Rand and company.  I could do it.  I did do it.

So as this epoch of my life comes to a close, the new one is beginning: my own life and career as an author.  I think the timing is pretty auspicious.  I think, if he were still alive, Mr. Jordan would have enjoyed my writings, as silly and non-epic as they may be.  I think Brigitte would like to sit down for drinks with my heroine, and Mat would love to throw some dice with my hero.

I don't know what's going to happen when I head to the book store and hold this treasure in my hands.  I will probably cry on the way to the counter, all the way out the door, and put a box of tissues next to my bed for a week. 

I know I will probably leave a piece of my soul on that last page.



PS-- Fellow Wheel of Time fans, I'd love to hear from you.  How are you preparing for the Last Battle?

Writer Interview: Jamie Grey

Today’s interview is with none other than one of the YA Misfits, Jamie Grey. I’ve known Jamie on Twitter for a while, and I have to say, she’s one of the sweetest Tweeps out there. Plus the title of her MS, Ultraviolet Catastrophe, is probably the coolest title in the world. Let’s get to know her.

AG: Tell us about your current project.

JG: My current project is a YA Sci-Fi called Ultraviolet Catastrophe. Here’s the blurb:

Lexie’s first assignment as a student at prestigious Quantum Technologies leads her to uncover a mistake in the master equation for an Einstein-Rosen bridge. Instead of a wormhole, this equation produces catastrophically uncontrollable ultraviolet rays. Except, it isn’t a mistake at all. It’s a carefully crafted plan that could devastate QT—and the rest of the universe. When the lead scientist turns up dead in the cryo chamber, Lexie knows she’s running out of time. Someone wants scientists eliminated and the correct formulas destroyed. And if she doesn’t find a way to stop them, she’ll be next.

It’s been such a fun book to write - kind of a cross between Eureka and Veronica Mars.

AG: Is it your first book?

JG: Nope, I’ve been writing since I was a kid. But, it’s only the 2nd book I’ve queried (if you don’t count the book I sent out 5 queries on and then realized it was completely awful!)

AG:  How did you tackle the revision process before you queried? Did you use CP’s?

JG: I’d be lost without my CPs! I don’t know what I’d do without them!
My revision process is to finish my first draft, do a read through and makes notes on what needs to change and how to fill in plot holes. I make those changes and do a line edit before sending to my CPs so they have a fairly clean MS to read through.

I usually do revisions using groups of CPs. So, I just sent out UVC to my first three CPs. I’ll fix the book based on their changes and then send it out to the next group. It works really well to get different people reading different version and catching different things.

AG: What was the querying process like for you? Any tips?

JG: I queried my last book for about 6 months. It got a lot of interest, but in the end it just wasn’t something agents thought they could sell. I think the biggest thing when you get to a certain point in your skill level is to remember is that it’s not always about your writing, it’s more about marketability. You could have the best book in the world, but if an agent doesn’t think she can sell it, they’re not going to take it on. It often has nothing to do with your skill.


AG: Do you blog? Where can we find you on Twitter and the internet?

JG: I blog at www.jamiegreybooks.com

I’m also a YA Misfit and blog over there as well - www.yamisfits.com

I’m on Twitter as www.twitter.com/jamie_grey

AG:  What online resources have you used to help your writing and querying and revision process?

JG: I love Query Tracker - it’s become a bit of an addiction while I’ve been in the Query Trenches. I also love the writing community and love to read everyone’s blogs on process and writing. I’ve entered quite a few contests (Miss Snark’s First Victim, The Writer’s Voice, etc) and have found some amazing CPs and developed some amazing relationships through those. I highly recommend getting out there in the community if you have the time.

Such good advice, Jamie.  Now, everyone, go check out Jamie AND her fellow misfits!  Thanks for talking with me, Jamie!